I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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