the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
