I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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