I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
