Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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