Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
