My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
