she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
