Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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