Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
