He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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