Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
