I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
