I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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