I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
