i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
