i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
