You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
