We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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