if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
