Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
