worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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