john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
