Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
