Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I wear drunk well.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
