I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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