he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize