i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
