We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
