So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
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