I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
