who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
