I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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