Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
