Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
