apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
