I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
