my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
