I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
