it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
