I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize