i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize