Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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