I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
