Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize