Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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