You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
