Well douche your snatch and let's go!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
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