oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
