remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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