on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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