Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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