Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
