So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
