god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
