Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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