I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
