our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
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I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
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We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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