this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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