your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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