i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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