She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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