can u get pink eye on your cock?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
