I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
