OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
