Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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