So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
