i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
