also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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