Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
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she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
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I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?