I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.